How To Cultivate Loving Self-Discipline
Have you ever struggled with consistency and self-discipline? Entrepreneurship can be a rocky road with dead ends and fruitless paths. It's risky, it's brave, but rewarding ten times over. And if you're a creative, our blessing of imagination and whimsical ideas can often be the very things that cloud our journey. But, without consistency and self-discipline, the odds of success in the long haul are more than likely stacked against you as harsh as that sounds!
On a long run the other day, where I leave all my thoughts out on the road, it struck me that this daily routine of getting up before the sun and lacing up my shoes has propelled my endurance, if you will, in my own creative business. Unknowingly yet overwhelmingly, my running has gifted me with one of the greatest skills... My daily run and training aren't simply training my mind and body; its a choice of self-love. And as a result, it builds self-discipline. I've been running every day for as long as I can remember; it's second nature. Most who know me would testify it's just a part of who I am and my lifestyle. But I rarely stop to think, apart from the health benefits and enjoyment, what drives me to continue it? It's certainly not easy; it's a pain you grow to enjoy. "Settle in and get comfortable with pain," as the elites say. If you're a runner, you'll understand what I mean. It's not exactly the picture of fun and can be lonely and monotonous sometimes. Even after a long, hard run I love how it makes me feel good about myself, inside and out. Committing to run, regardless of circumstances or if I don't even feel my best, sharpens my edges and stacks another stone onto the wall of self-discipline.
Yet, paradoxically, this choice which can often be painful, is one of self-love. It's a fine balance of commitment to something yet having the grace with yourself to know to take it easy and give yourself a break. Even if my body feels sore, I don't push myself to run long, just a few slow, easy miles to keep my body moving. The point is I still get out there and don't beat myself up about it. Tomorrow is another day. At the end of the day, I still keep that commitment to myself.
Discipline is a muscle you have to work at every day, little by little. Little moments of "yes" could be steps towards building your dream business, be it sending out pitch emails or even as small as writing a blog post. Sizeable and consistent actions over time will help build that muscle, and soon enough, procrastination will no longer be a daily issue. It's one of the ultimate acts of self-love because it's a choice we make, even though it may be challenging, which is best for us and will get us one step closer to our vision for our lives and creative business. Self-love is acceptance, inside and out, flaws and all. If we're honest with ourselves about what we deserve and what we envision, loving self-discipline can become our best friend that supports us along the way. I'm certainly not advocating burnout, running yourself into the road (literally), or a severe form of action. By loving self-discipline, I mean giving ourselves grace when we're not up for the task at hand but also a loving nudge that says, "just one more step, you've got this."
One underlying factor in all this is self-awareness…aware of our temptations, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses. It's human nature and neurologically wired into us to avoid pain and uncomfortable things for our survival. Running is just metaphor and I’m certainly not pushing it onto you, but I’m near certain there is something you been meaning to do more of or try and haven’t yet! So to start, what is one positive micro step outside your comfort zone that you can do consistently? Is it a morning walk? Nightime journaling? Turning off your phone for 2 hours while you do focused creative work? Daily diligence in even the most minor things like those examples builds discipline, surely but slowly over time. And as a result, you will ultimately begin to trust yourself more and more…believe in yourself that you have your own back in times of difficulty.
As time passes, you can eventually ask more of yourself and set better habits in place. I don't like setting up rigid and hard-fastened goals; it's an all-or-nothing type of mentality. I think that framework freezes you in place with the pressure at the start before you even take the first step. Have you ever felt angry and frustrated at yourself that you didn't accomplish something, even a new years resolution? A black and white mentality breeds disappointment, self-doubt, and anger. Rather, a loose goal is saying, "hey, I didn't quite make it, but I sure made a huge leap from where I was when I started, and I'm ok with that." Big achievements and aspirations are not the starting lines; rather, success lies in the mundane, little choices we make throughout our day relative to our overall vision. Do you give yourself credit for little wins throughout your day?
An accountability partner or mentor is invaluable, even if it's a friend or family member who checks in with you regularly. If you struggle to be accountable to yourself, ask a creative friend or someone you trust and share with them what you're working on as a consistent practice. If they love you and are a true friend, they will without question. For some guidance, I’ve been loving The One Thing Podcast lately, which is all about entrepreneurship, goal setting and creative business.
If you're thinking, "but what if I don't have the willpower on some days?" We only have a limited amount of willpower in the day. Making choices takes energy. Energy that most of us can't afford to waste. So eliminating the number of choices we make throughout the day can save our precious energy for tasks we feel like shrugging off. How can you eliminate the number of choices you make in a day?
Even on the most disappointing days, when I feel like my efforts are futile, sending out another pitch email to another company that probably will never respond, I remember my vision. Can you picture that right now as you read this? That is the cure for lack of willpower. Creativity is a well that needs to be replenished so if it's empty, you probably won't feel inspired or have the willpower let alone discipline to keep carrying on. So what's in your well? What books are in there? What music? What films or paintings? What is the "water" in your well? Does a brisk afternoon walk in the woods revitalize you? Having a creative friend come 'round for a cup of tea? Depleting it by creating things you don't enjoy, trying to outwit the algorithm, and photographing things you aren't interested in exhausts it drop by drop. If your creative well has run dry, it's near impossible to focus on what fuels your passion and move forward in your journey. For a quick exercise, write down in a notebook or sheet of paper what fills up your creative well. Furthermore, note what depletes it... Keep it by your desk for a reminder when you're feeling uninspired, jaded, and worn out…
This post may sound like a ramble, but to summarize, I've listed a few key steps that will help you cultivate loving self-discipline to help you achieve your goals:
Embrace your strengths and acknowledge your weakness
Start with small, bite-sized actions in your daily life before asking more of yourself consistently
Progress, however small is worth celebrating and acknowledging
Practice loving self-discipline when you have an off day or moment
Forgive yourself when you procrastinate or miss the mark. Tomorrow is a new day
Find an accountability partner or mentor
Remove distractions and temptations
Learn to graciously and confidently say no when something is not right for you
Set loose goals
Praise yourself and celebrate the little wins throughout the day
Regularly treat yourself in small (healthy) ways for your diligence
I hope this gives you a gentle framework to practice self-discipline daily and ultimately realize that we are our best friend. Throughout this whole messy, crazy, beautiful rollercoaster of a life, we are with us from day one. You, the one in the mirror, will forever be with you in the sad moments, the happy ones, the lonely ones, the joyful ones...every moment of your life. The one constant presence. And that unique, gorgeous, talented person and friend in the mirror should be loved, honored, and celebrated every day.
With love,
Alanna
