She booked that? Why doesn’t my work look like hers? Why can’t I work them? Ugh she is always working with the best brands? His photography is so much better than mine. Why can’t my photos look like hers?

We’ve all been there. Many times, I’m sure. It’s completely normal and almost unavoidable if we are human—the dreaded pitfall of comparing ourselves to others. As humans, we naturally compare ourselves to others because our primal brain is trying to keep us safe, protect us, guard our resources, and fit in. So, in order to do that, our brain looks for ways to safeguard our well-being, retain homeostasis, and belong to a specific community. Comparing ourselves to others isn’t inherently bad because it can help us grow and evolve. And pushes us towards where we want to go both style-wise and in our business endeavors. However, it takes a turn when we begin comparing ourselves to others who are years, not decades, in life and work experiences ahead of us. It can slowly degrade our mental well-being and sense of self-worth. As I write, it seems obvious why we shouldn’t compare ourselves and work to others, but it sneaks in there when we feel a moment of insecurity, a wobble after a rejection, or a setback. Would you compare and critically how a baby walks compared to a 5-year-old toddler? Of course not! They are at two completely separate points in their developmental lives that, frankly, wouldn’t be fair nor right! Is the baby any less worthy or capable of learning to walk because he stumbles or falls over? No, of course not! It’s no different when we compare ourselves to others who are years ahead in their photography journey.

When I first began shooting and started to take photography seriously as a business, I used to get lost on Pinterest or in books or works of people I admired and get so discouraged. These are supposed to inspire, not get me down! I’d look at my camera roll and final edits and think, “Ugh why don’t they look like theirs, I’ll never get that good.” I would compare my images to those I saw on my mood board and think these are terrible, they are nowhere near as interesting as these! Comparing myself to others was one of the hardest lessons I had in my early years. I’m naturally very hard on myself to begin with, so added with the pressure to be and shoot just like the photographers I admired was setting me up for defeat before I even held down the shutter button. Comparing ourselves to others who have years of time, experience, and a deep portfolio, with probably a lot of sweat and tears behind it, is simply not fair to us. They should inspire us, not leave us defeated and discouraged. We can aspire to be like them and learn from them, but when we compare our work to theirs, it does ourselves a great injustice and disservice. There is only one you! Only one of you on this entire planet that has your unique gift and eye! How amazing is that? So, we unknowingly put ourselves behind the starter block rather than giving ourselves a leg up or lift we need at the critical moment of growth or in a moment of insecurity. Compare yourself to others so you can see what’s possible! And what is achievable! If they can do it, so can you? That is how I flipped the habit on its head. If they can photograph like that or teach a workshop, book a top-paying client, write a book, or get published in a magazine, why can’t you? They are only leading the way to what’s possible for you, not just what you are lacking in skill. Once you realize where you are on your own path and trajectory, you can appreciate which stone you are on in comparison to where they are in theirs. And yet, funnily enough, we ALL have different paths, so it’s an illusion to even think we can compare to another.

But back to comparing in photography…when you get sidelined by comparing your work to others, think of it this way with wonder, awe, and aspiration. Wow, look how beautifully they shot X, or look how successful they are in their client roster; if they can do that, so can I! Take it as a sign that it’s possible for you, too in your own unique way on your journey. Rather than getting jealous, think about how this is signaling something inside you that you year and desire for more. And more importantly, if they have done it, they’ve clearly paved the way that it’s possible for you as well! Be it learning about lighting, finding the right props, styling, booking clients, anything! If they can and have done it, you can too. And the wild part is years down the line, someone will be looking at your work and comparing themselves to where you are now.

Comparing yourself to others can be a good thing if it pushes you to reach your creative potential and shows you what’s possible for your business and, ultimately, your life. Go lightly about it with grace, humility, and an unsatiable desire to learn and grow from those who have walked on the path where you want to go. We all will end up right where we are meant to be at the right time and place. Comparing ourselves to someone far ahead with years of experience is like kicking ourselves in the shins at the starting block and asking ourselves why we aren’t there yet. It takes time, patience, and love for ourselves. Love for ourselves that today our work looks like this, but tomorrow it will get that one bit better. And that’s ok because you know where you are going. Those we compare ourselves to are the guiding lights that can reveal our deepest fears, desires, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals. Once we voice those and bring them into the light, can we bring back our focus onto ourselves and create with intention and inspiration.

Below are a few of my very first photos when I first started my career. As you can see, they are quite different and not very good! But if I let my comparison to others crush my drive and dreams, I would never be where I am today. We all have to start somewhere, and there is no shame in being where we are in our creative journey.

Alanna

x

If you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. If you’re looking to improve your visual storytelling and photography skills with personalized guidance and support, my mentorship might be a good fit for you. You can learn more about the photography mentorship here.